GOOD NEWS!!

I apologize for the bold but it seems to be stuck and I can't get it off. I am going to attempt to tell a simple storyI hope I succeed. Spent the summer in a nursing

home feeling desperate,alone . .and desolate. I prayed to the godess constantly(that being my form of religion at the time) and things just kept getting worse. The Drs and nurses were telling me me my left hand,which i couldn't Even keep on the table was as good as it was going g to get, I had no home' and mice were eating my hair gel from my head at night! Alice was my rock of strength during this time and continues to be. One day while I was crying because the good "christian" lady who had been caring for my cats had turned them into the animal shelter(which was keeping them at the cost of 90$ a night a nurse who I didn't know, asked me what was wrong. I told her my sad story and she immediately offered to keep them for me. With the help of my friend Nancy we rescued the cats and brought them to the nurses car. While I was tearfully thanking her she grabbed my shoulders and said: "these shoulders are no tbig enough to carry all that you have to carry. Turn it over to God and ask for his help" Now this is not the first time I've heard these words, but they were said with such loving conviction that IpromisedI would. And when I went to bed that night I did what I had promised. The very next day, I found out that I had gotten the apt. I had been waiting for over a week to hear about and within two weeks my cats and I were home. .It took backbreaking work on the part of my best friend Mel and Alice barely recovered from back surgery but I now have a home. While we were still moving Rev. Kathleen Kegle from the Denver Hospice came by to visit and jumped right in to help vacom up cat litter. Within two weeks I had my old hospice team,which included Kathleen, was back with me. Kathleen was part of,much to my joy!! It turned out that Kathleen was doing a bible syudy of John and i was invited to take part in. Which I gladly did having left the godess behind without quite knowing where I was going. I read the first chapter of John, which of course starts with "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God. Now this is not the first time I've read this-I remember reading it in How Green was my Valley when I was 12. This time was different and was the beginning of a lot of Q and A sessions and a lot of thought. My of my older friends and relatives know that I have traveled a long twisted spiritual path. which has included a few trips to Christianity and back out again. One night, while sitting on the thinking post I was debating with myself about Jesus and the Blood of the Lamb when a light went on and after years of Catholic school, and a visit to the Episcopal Church, I began to understand and to know,deep in heart mi and and . So I am coming out of the closet Soul, that He was the Way, the Truth and the Light. Now it just so happened that my my sister Kate was here the next time Kathleen came over so she heard me telling about this and ended up being a witness to my declaration of Faith. I was talking about the fact that I had never felt worthy of God's Love because I knew that the Temple of my body had been defiledby child molesters) before I made my First Communion. Katie said it was the biggest lie the devil ever told Me and she was right. I don't believe it anymore and I am in the process of arranging for Kathleen to baptize me. Yes, I was baptized as a child, but this time it will be as an adult with a full understanding of what I am doing and everything it means. I spend time every day working on my relationship with God and it is bringing me great joy and peaceof mind. So I am coming "out" of the closet and declaring to everyone who reads this that I am a Christian and a Beleiver

ChangesIt's been a long time since I've written-partly because of my stroke-writing one handed is a pain and it's taken me a while to process everything that happened in the aftermath.In spite of my mrdical experience I knew very little about the mental confusion that a stroke causes and because the original prognosis was grim some decisions were made(correctly based on what was known at the time) that led to me coming back to a full awareness of myself and the fact that I was homeless while my best friend Mel was struggling to get my belongings packed and into storage. This job was not made easier by my inability to stick to one decision and my constant changing my mind. It is a testament to Mel's love for me that she was doing this after working a high stress job every day. I thank God every day for her and all the Hard work she did. The fact that my confusion led to a disagreement with my family left her to do it alone.All that led to the moment where I was sitting on a metal chair in the broiling sun smoking a ciggarette and realizing that I was homeless. It was The most desolate feeling I have ever had. Docters and nurses were telling me I would not recover and were ready to leave me to die in a rodent infested nursing home . My mother always said the best way to get me to do something was to tell me I couldn't and once again she was proved rightand the day the dr. told me I was as well as iIwas going to getand That night I plugged in my cell phone by myself. It is a tricky connection and took almost an hour but I did it and took my first real step towaard recovery. With Alice calling every day with encouragement and love and visits by friends "I made it through my suicidal depression. A dear old friend gave me a ton of help in looking for a place to live and I found my apartmentwhere I am now.