home feeling desperate,alone . .and desolate. I prayed to the godess constantly(that being my form of religion at the time) and things just kept getting worse. The Drs and nurses were telling me me my left hand,which i couldn't Even keep on the table was as good as it was going g to get, I had no home' and mice were eating my hair gel from my head at night! Alice was my rock of strength during this time and continues to be. One day while I was crying because the good "christian" lady who had been caring for my cats had turned them into the animal shelter(which was keeping them at the cost of 90$ a night a nurse who I didn't know, asked me what was wrong. I told her my sad story and she immediately offered to keep them for me. With the help of my friend Nancy we rescued the cats and brought them to the nurses car. While I was tearfully thanking her she grabbed my shoulders and said: "these shoulders are no tbig enough to carry all that you have to carry. Turn it over to God and ask for his help" Now this is not the first time I've heard these words, but they were said with such loving conviction that IpromisedI would. And when I went to bed that night I did what I had promised. The very next day, I found out that I had gotten the apt. I had been waiting for over a week to hear about and within two weeks my cats and I were home. .It took backbreaking work on the part of my best friend Mel and Alice barely recovered from back surgery but I now have a home. While we were still moving Rev. Kathleen Kegle from the Denver Hospice came by to visit and jumped right in to help vacom up cat litter. Within two weeks I had my old hospice team,which included Kathleen, was back with me. Kathleen was part of,much to my joy!! It turned out that Kathleen was doing a bible syudy of John and i was invited to take part in. Which I gladly did having left the godess behind without quite knowing where I was going. I read the first chapter of John, which of course starts with "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God. Now this is not the first time I've read this-I remember reading it in How Green was my Valley when I was 12. This time was different and was the beginning of a lot of Q and A sessions and a lot of thought. My of my older friends and relatives know that I have traveled a long twisted spiritual path. which has included a few trips to Christianity and back out again. One night, while sitting on the thinking post I was debating with myself about Jesus and the Blood of the Lamb when a light went on and after years of Catholic school, and a visit to the Episcopal Church, I began to understand and to know,deep in heart mi and and . So I am coming out of the closet Soul, that He was the Way, the Truth and the Light. Now it just so happened that my my sister Kate was here the next time Kathleen came over so she heard me telling about this and ended up being a witness to my declaration of Faith. I was talking about the fact that I had never felt worthy of God's Love because I knew that the Temple of my body had been defiledby child molesters) before I made my First Communion. Katie said it was the biggest lie the devil ever told Me and she was right. I don't believe it anymore and I am in the process of arranging for Kathleen to baptize me. Yes, I was baptized as a child, but this time it will be as an adult with a full understanding of what I am doing and everything it means. I spend time every day working on my relationship with God and it is bringing me great joy and peaceof mind. So I am coming "out" of the closet and declaring to everyone who reads this that I am a Christian and a Beleiver
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