I'm Bored!

I live alone,except for 2 black cats and the caretaqkers that come in. I can't work. I've sold my car because I can't drive it anymore-baad reflexes and 120 mg of oxycontin a day=give away the keys before I hurt myself or someone else. My neighbors and aides shop for me-mostly yogurt,soft crusted bread (very important with no teeth) and fresh fruit. I am still able to go outbut by the time I get the 02 tank filled and the right tubing and then the walker because I can't carry th o2 tank then get myself out to the car and get it loaded and I'm exhausted!! So I don't get out much-I have to really want something and then it has to be a good breathing day. I spend most of my time alone, watching daytime tv and thinking. Some days when things are bad I try to sleep as much as possible. But evan then I'm faced with my thoughts-many triggered by the t.v. I have watched giving babies change from being alone in a labor room numb from the breast down and the baby in an isolette where I could see but not touch-to the present where mothers and fathers are there together and holding the child from the moment of birth!! That is huge in terms of bonding with a child and of course, with modifications, a return to the times before Dr's and hospitals took over so much of it. And of cdourse there is the general change in the way we deal with dr.'s-thaqnkfully! I think the insistance that they pay attwntion to what patients have to say is an important-I won't keep a doc who doesnt listen to me. See what I mean about being bored?

My aide Tina took the holiday off, so I had a sub. I dont know where they find these people but this one was as cute and sweet as she could be. There's a joyful moment-someone special in my house first thing!